EPISODE 12: ARSHA vENKAT

May 10, 2021

One thing you should know about me is that I can never tell a linear story. Anyone who talks to me can attest that I talk fast and all over the place and keeping up can be a Herculean task.

I spent 18 years being alone growing up. Loneliness was such a big part of my origin story and one I don’t ever plan on going back to. Part of the reason I struggle to relate to children is because I have a bad perspective on being a kid since I grew up around adults. I’m an only child and I am in a weird sweet spot with my cousins where I am significantly younger than my generation of cousins and significantly older than their children, so there isn’t really a peer bond there. I always tried to talk like an adult because of this so I didn't really know what to say to other 6 years olds.

I was born in India but immigrated here with my mom when I was six weeks old. Although I left India at such a young age, I still went through the typical immigrant story. I always felt caught in the middle between fitting in with my Indian friends and American friends. Growing up Indian in Mahopac, New York, where only maybe three other Indian families lived, meant I had to be Americanized to fit in. I actually went by “Kat” from middle school until freshman year of college because I didn’t want to deal with the mispronunciations. Looking back on that it was kind of dumb, but it felt like I was doing what I had to do. However, when I got to college, becoming friends with Indian people who grew up in Indian communities was difficult because I did not have any commonalities with them. When they asked me if I knew certain Bollywood films or popular songs, all I could say is, “No, but I can tell you how cute Paul Rudd is.” They always joked that I was the least Indian even though I was the one actually born there.

As a kid I also didn't have the opportunity to go and study Hinduism in a weekend school or anything like that so my parents taught me, but I don’t think they know it that well themselves. I am Hindu and my parents are very conservative, but they tie that back to our religion in ways that I’ve found discrepancies with. My parents both went to Catholic schools in India. India is heavily influenced by British values after four hundred years of colonization so their stances on topics like sex and marriage come from that. Not much of that actually comes from Hindu scripture. When I was younger I used to clash with them about it, but now that I am older I just let it go and I will raise my kids differently. I do find a lot of value in the scripture, the actual scripture. I do pray when I have a minute, from the heart. Hinduism is similar to Judaism in the sense where there are a lot of books that have minutia of how to live life. A gross but interesting example is that scripture mentions not to defecate in one’s own home which is pretty good advice for the lack of plumbing at the time. However, when modern toilets were invented, adoption took time especially in more remote areas because of the direct conflict with the scripture. I think most of the scripture was very relevant to its historical time but it needs to be modernized to our present to reflect the world that my ancestors could never have predicted. Hinduism is the world’s oldest continuous religion and the third largest but it keeps an air of mystery because it’s confined mostly to a singular country and it’s frankly recent diaspora. I read a lot of non-religious theories on religious practices for this reason. If I had an endless amount of money I would be an anthropologist; I would study ancient cultures. I am interested in how people live and I really love ancient religions. Studying religions also keeps me open minded because who is to say one is right and another isn’t? Perhaps there is something to take from multiple religions that's beneficial. I want to know how different people explain that which we cannot explain. I would have loved to have been a British aristocrat in the nineteenth century where I could just travel and learn without having to deal with pesky things like food and shelter.

I have always been interested in medicine coming from a healthcare family. My dad is a pharmacist, my mom is a doctor, and all my cousins on my mom’s side but one, who decided to be an electrical engineer, are doctors. However, I found out in high school from a guidance counselor that you don't need a specific major for medicine, so I majored in political science at the University of Michigan. I also like to compare systems of government and figuring out how people organize themselves to make certain things happen. I have always had a knack for history and government and I am the kind of person that tends to like things that I am good at. I'm not the type to say, “I’m terrible at the piano but I love playing it.”

Living in Ann Arbor was great, the whole city exists purely for the college and has a bustling life. I lived in an all-girls dorm my first year because I knew it would be easy to get and it was so central to everything. It was me, a sheltered girl, living with a bunch of other sheltered girls. I loved it; we had wine and pizza nights watching movies in our pajamas. It was interesting to have that experience in college, without as much partying, and then senior year I branched out more. I did go to ONE frat party freshman year, challenged one of the brothers in the fraternity to a dance off (of course I won), after which I was asked by my opponent to a slow dance. There is a video out there of us dancing the waltz to “Shots” by Lil Jon in the foreground of a grungy basement party while the people in the background were decidedly not waltzing... what a gentleman’s way to lose a dance off.

During my senior year, right before the pandemic started, I interned for Senator Schumer and Senator Stabenow’s offices in Washington DC. I was doing federal-government-oversight type stuff and then the impeachment came through, the first one. I built a database of everything that went down in all the House hearings to make it accessible for the Senate offices of the Democratic Caucus to read. My experience in politics has recently driven me to consider starting a Hindu Student Organization. There are things from being Hindu in India that just don’t work as well here in the States. In India, you need less structure to find a community because we are unified in our country and frankly, Indians go out of their way to distinguish themselves from each other. In college I attempted to do something to benefit Hindu students regarding our cafeteria food. It was all labeled for whether or not it had pork but that wasn’t the case for beef, you had to ask each person serving about any possible items and hope that the college kid working had a clue (frequently, they did not). I tried to work with the dining halls and administration to make such labeling available but lacked the backing from a united group of students because there was a very nascent Hindu Student Association that was not interested in taking on issues impacting students, only in creating programming to keep up cultural ties. I talked to a lot of Hindu students and attempted to organize but students had their own individual ways of coping that worked for them and were not interested in large scale planning. In many ways, that reflects the individualistic nature of Hinduism and the choices the religion affords Hindus in how they choose to practice. Perhaps we can get something started here at NYMC.

While I was in college, I briefly considered law because most political science majors are pre-law, but I realized pre-laws are more about outsmarting other people, while we are more about partnering with the patient. That partnership, and improving access for patients is part of the reason I am really interested in urology, other than the fact that I find the genitourinary system to be fascinating, with a variety of things to do. In my conservative town, I was not really exposed to LGBTQ+ issues, and it was not easy for anyone to come out. One day in high school, I remember seeing a video on Facebook for 'DIY male-to-female gender affirmation surgery,' from a person who is not a doctor. People in the comments were sharing that their dysphoria had gotten so bad they would be willing to try it. During anatomy I reflected back and concluded that no one should have to go through that - there needs to be more people who know how to help and complete the transition safely. It was this idea that solidified my intention on becoming a urologist. In addition, in conservative cultures like the one I am from, older women hesitate to seek urologic care because a lot of urologists are men and they are not comfortable seeing them. I think I can tap into seeing older Indian women and improve access.

I am an open book, and will pretty much say anything to anybody. I have always kept a small group of really close friends. I feel that having a big group of friends where you can’t trust anyone with everything can be quite lonely. I really pride open-hearted honesty and bearing your soul. I will bear my soul freely so when someone gives that back in return that’s strong. I really appreciate when someone shares something really important that happened in their life, good or bad, and they want me to take part in it.

What are your 5 most played artists on Spotify?
I don’t really follow particular artists. I listen to Spotify: Discover Weekly so I know a bunch of super random songs. I do like ZZ Ward (who did the theme song for Cars 3), and Megan Thee Stallion (who I have been listening to since 2019). I think its awesome that she was in college when her music blew up but kept going to class which I really respect. She's promoting education and empowerment and I love that.

Outside of school do you have any hobbies?
I watch a lot of TV and movies. I mostly watch movies without substance because when the world started falling apart it was a great escape. Recently, I watched Godzilla vs Kong and rewatched The West Wing.

What are your plans for next year?
I got a spot in an apartment on campus! I have a suspicion I will be living with incoming M1s. I will have to go home once a week though because my mom is convinced I will hungry shop and so she wants to get my groceries and I can go home to get my laundry done which is great. I am excited to not have to commute the 40 minutes anymore because I will get tired driving home. A lot of campus living folk know me as the sober girl driving everyone around which is a mantle I am ready and happy to retire.