Episode 18: Carly Carlin

April 15, 2019

Community and activism have been a large part of my life for as long as I can remember, probably thanks to my synagogue, Westchester Reform Temple. Reform Judaism is a sector of Judaism that focuses on social justice, community outreach, and helping those in need more than it focuses on knowing all your prayers or being more traditionally observant. I feel like a lot of kids go through those stereotypical phases where they kind of rebel against religion, but that never happened to me. I always felt like my temple was a place where I had a voice, could ask questions, and grow into a better version of myself. My temple was also always a place where I was encouraged to dance—my rabbi was a former dancer and even did pliés with me on the bima right before my bat-mitzvah, which is one of my fondest memories. I owe a ton of who I am to the mentors and congregation I grew up with at temple.

I never imagined I would go to medical school. I wasn’t premed in college and I majored in geography, which is kind of a mix of sociology, anthropology, econ, and environmental studies all in one. Most of my classes focused on environmental and global health and were essay-based discussion classes, which was great because I love to write and listen to people’s viewpoints. After graduating, I worked at Boston University’s School of Environmental Health and did research looking at environmental stressors in low income housing. My job was focused on community engagement, working with grassroots organizations to not only to get people involved in the studies but also to see what the research institution could provide for these populations in need. Although I really enjoyed the job, I realized research wasn’t something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I wanted to work with people more directly, so I thought a little more about medicine.

My best friend convinced me to apply and enroll in a post-bac program with her in Baltimore. During my post-bac, I was going through a lot not only in my academic life, but personal life as well. My best friend was assaulted by another student in our program, so the MCAT, classes, and getting into med school felt like a side note that year as we dealt with the administration, Title IX, and our own larger anxieties. My whole life, I had always dealt with anxiety (maybe without realizing it, since it was normal to me), but it really escalated in my post-bac. I remember during this year I had my first real panic attack. I realized later I had had something called an ocular migraine, where you see flashing lights and can’t see what’s in front of you and you literally feel like you’re going blind and suffocating all at once. It was so terrifying and severe that I almost went to the emergency room. I ended up going to urgent care and when I got there, the doctor said something to me that still sticks with me now. She looked at me, as I sobbed uncontrollably, and said “Honey, you’re only in Orgo 1. Have you really thought about if you’re cut out for medicine? It’s only gonna get worse.” I was shocked that a doctor, especially a woman, could say something like that to me. We’re supposed to lift each other up, not crush each other’s dreams! Over time, therapy and medication helped me a lot through my personal anxiety, self-doubt, and my friend’s trauma, but what that doctor said still sticks with me. Part of me is like yeah, I’m proving her wrong now that I’m in medical school, but another part of me questions if she was right and if I really belong here. I wanted to share this experience on this platform because I’m sure so many of my classmates are feeling the same self-doubt as me and I wanted to put it out there that they aren’t going through it alone. There’s a huge stigma around talking about mental health, especially in medical school, so I hope by sharing this people can be more open about talking about it.

If I didn’t pursue medicine, I would love to be an artist, or an English teacher/writer. I really like sculpture, whether it’s ceramics, wire, glass, or making jewelry and crafts. I’m the opposite of a perfectionist so I really enjoy the flexibility and free flowing spirit of 3D art. You can always modify if you mess up! Beyond that, dance is what defines me most in my life. When I was younger, I was a total tomboy and refused to take ballet because I didn’t want to wear pink tights. I’m really glad my mom convinced me to just try it because now I’m absolutely obsessed and it’s become the basis for all other styles of dance that I love so much. I feel so lucky because dance is something that’s always been constant in my life and I’m excited to find ways to incorporate into medicine and healing.

What are your 5 Most Recently Played Artists on Spotify?
In the Heights Soundtrack, Regina Spektor, Mumford & Sons, Death Cab, Aida Soundtrack

If you could have any superpower, which one would you choose?
Flight including space travel!!

Pick something or someone from NYMC to give a shout out to!
My beautiful roommates (roommates doesn't even seem appropriate because they are like my big sisters here): Jessica Sitko, Sam Golden, and Liz Laikhter--they have taken care of me since before I even got to campus and I look up to them more than they will ever know

If someone wanted to talk to you, they should lead with…
Literally anything about Lin-Manuel, cows, or exotic fruit