Episode 45: Emily Groenedaal

March 31, 2019

One day when my brother and I were very little, we thought it’d be fun to step in our dog’s poop and jump on our parents’ bed. Most people, myself included, would have freaked out. But when my mom saw, she laughed! I think that says a lot about my mom. My whole life, I have never heard my mom raise her voice. Not once. She never got mad at my brother and me. She told me she tried to think of us as aliens: you can’t get mad at aliens if they don’t do something right, because they don’t know our customs. My mom is incredible.
While my mom is literally this sun of positivity, my dad lives under a rain cloud. The reactions that they have to any given statement are polar opposites, which is interesting but sometimes frustrating. It was difficult for me growing up with a dad who is depressed and anxious. Even now it’s hard to help him, but when I see him I try to encourage him to practice happiness. If my dad shares something negative, I’m like, “okay tell me 3 positive things right now.”
I believe there is a genetic component to happiness, but you can make active decisions to raise or lower your baseline. I believe happiness is a skill, and like all other skills it takes practice. I try to engage in what I call “happiness habits”. There are just small choices that I believe help me to be a more positive and happier person. For instance: choosing what stories to tell other people. You go about your day and accumulate a lot of experiences, and when you talk to someone you choose which experiences to share. While I think it’s important to talk about things that affect you negatively, if it’s something benign like “traffic was awful,” then in choosing to tell that particular story, you’re giving it a second memory; you’re giving it more power in your narrative. Instead, you can share a happy or positive experience… I think that’s worth doing.
Sometimes I’ll have a rough week and realize that I haven’t appreciated myself or told myself OUT LOUD that I love myself. It sounds silly, but to hear yourself say those words is pretty profound… I think those things are so important. And with studying, I try to focus on the things that I do get done that day, as opposed to looking at my long to-do list like “why didn’t you do this?” It’s a challenge, but these little daily choices really make a difference for me, especially at this time in our lives. The most important thing in this world is happiness; I learned that from my mom.
I read a quote from a 90-year old woman, and I’m not going to get the exact quote, but it was basically: prepare for every possibility and then go with the flow. It resonated with me. I feel like we have to be flexible in life. If we get too engrained in one thing, and then if life goes in a different direction, it can cause an outburst. Instead, I think it’s better to try and see the pros and cons of any situation, to realize that no path is truly “the best” and to adopt a mentality that no matter what happens, we will adapt.
We have so much pressure on us, and I feel like school, peers, life… it puts all of these expectations on us. It makes us hyperfocused on our future. I like to look at things with the mindset of: “Will this matter 5 years from now?” The answer is almost always "no". I feel like Step 1 is the first time an exam might matter in 5 years, but no matter how it may alter my path, I’ll be in that version of my future thriving anyway and won’t know any different.

What are your 5 Most Recently Played Artists on Spotify?
Simon and Garfunkel, The Beatles, Lizzo, Vulfpeck, Hozier

If you could have any superpower, which one would you choose?:
Teleportation – I feel like at this stage in our life that is just the practical one to have

Pick something or someone from NYMC go give out a shout of to!:
I would like to give a shout out to everyone who went on the ski trip. I just felt it was great trip, and everyone was super cool, and it was an awesome experience that I think everyone should go in the future. Also a shout out to Tiffany Truong for conducting this interview. I was a bit nervous, but talking to her was so relaxed and easy.

If someone wanted to talk to you, they should lead with…:
Your favorite Pokémon (first generation only obviously), your favorite Nintendo game would be great. Just non-medical stuff (unless you need to talk about medical stuff).