Episode 46: joey mccafferty

April 7, 2019

Lately, I have been reflecting on my interactions with the world around me in various contexts. More specifically, about energy. Not in a spiritual way, but I feel the energy you give off has a metaphysical, transferrable property to it that only humans can experience. A friend of mine once told me that some people are “reflectors”; they will reflect the energy you give off and mirror it back. While other people are “absorbers”; they will absorb the energy and are enriched by it. My mindset is that energy is infectious and transferable. I want my actions, attitude, and presence to have an energizing effect on those around me.
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At times it can be hard - medicine takes a lot of mental and physical energy from us and it is not always a reciprocal relationship (not to be negative, but kind of parasitic). The beauty of the human experience is when you uplift others, it will eventually come back around. It might not be obvious, but I have noticed people act differently towards myself and others when I make them feel respected, validated, loved, appreciated etc. It can be something as simple as a smile. These views really began to take form for me when I was working at McLean Hospital with psychiatric patients a few years back. One patient, who I will call MD (#HIPPA), had a profound impact on me. The common denominator among the patients on my unit was suicidality. For many people, like MD, she didn’t truly want to die, but the idea and thought of it is something she could not prevent from occupying her mind. What had such a poignant effect on me was the positive impact she had on the other patients. By uplifting other patients, she herself found fulfillment. She was extremely resilient, and this taught me different ways to deal with situations that are uncontrollable.

Many people don’t have self compassion and when failures occur, they beat themselves up. I imagine in surgery, where no doubt mistakes happen, there could be two routes of thinking. Some surgeons might look at their mistakes, analyze them, and learn from them. Another subset might ruminate, and incessantly criticize themselves for making a mistake. I think med students sometimes end up in the crossfires and attendings displace their frustrations towards them (is this the right defense mechanism?). I wonder how many medical students get yelled at by attendings? From friends that have been through it, it doesn’t seem to be an uncommon occurrence. Students are being yelled at for things they have never done before and on top of that they may already have some baseline anxiety from their own internal pressures I get it, if a medical student makes a mistake and say your patient ends up with a post-operative infection, it would be extremely frustrating. Personally, I think creating a culture with a more positive energy would reduce these little mistakes rather than paralyzing students with fear and anxiety. I already have irrational fears that I might not have a certain skillset to be good at a certain specialty. As second year medical students, we really don’t know what we are going to accel at and these thoughts can quickly warp into self-doubt as the inner critic shows its face.

What makes a great teacher is someone who fosters an open environment where mistakes are not condemned. Teaching out of fear is the wrong way to approach education. I think it is important to lead by example; to bring positive energy that fosters a healthier environment while doing the best you can. No doubt, people perform worse when their anxiety is heightened. This doesn’t mean we should be “loosey, goosey”. Rather we need a conducive learning space that acknowledges mistakes in a productive way. Last summer, I worked with a surgeon who always admitted when he was wrong. He brought such great enthusiasm and energy to the OR. On the first day, he told me that he will yell when he needs me to do something, but that it should never be taken personally. He said that if he asks me to do something to do just do it and not worry about messing up. He said, “if I didn’t mess-up in medical school, I never would have learned anything”.

While we will inevitably endure experiences with great physicians that inspire us, we will also be yelled at, made to feel inadequate, and forced to question our abilities. How we choose to respond to these situations is on us, and how we chose to act as future physicians is crucial. It is important to not get jaded by the process, keep things in perspective, and remember that someday the ball will be in our court.

What are your 5 Most Recently Played Artists on Spotify?
Rufus Du Sol, Fisher, Claptone, Nora en Pure, Fakear

If you could have any superpower, which one would you choose?
Time Travel. Would love to check out some wild moments in history.

Pick something or someone from NYMC go give out a shout of to!
To my whole squad!

If someone wanted to talk to you, they should lead with…
Have you ever heard of (insert DJ here)?