EPISODE 34: GURKAMAL KAUR

September 28, 2020

My parents are both from India and they immigrated to the United States before I was born. I was born and raised in Queens, New York and I am the youngest of three girls. Growing up in New York City exposed me to many different cultures. I believe that the cultural diversity of New York City has helped shape me into the person I am today. Although my family moved to Long Island while I was away at college, I’ll always be a Queens girl at heart.

My family was my exposure to medicine, and I experienced the medical field first-hand from my two older sisters. One of my sisters is a pharmacist and the other is a physician assistant. I developed a deeper understanding of the healthcare profession through my sisters’ experiences. However, my interest in medicine began in middle school after witnessing many family members suffer from preventable, chronic illnesses. I grew up in a family where you only went to see a doctor when an illness became too severe to be managed at home. I believe that for my sisters and I, medicine became a pursuit to make things right, like planting a flower in a pot that only seemed to grow weeds.

After graduating from college, I decided to return home and take a gap year before applying to medical school. While at home I began to notice that my father was getting sick. One day while sitting on the couch talking on the phone, my mother noticed a bulging lump from my father’s neck. My mother immediately called me to assess his neck and I felt his enlarged lymph nodes. At first, I was taken aback and then I felt concerned about my father’s condition. I became extremely worried, so I called his physician and scheduled an appointment. Later, we got a phone call from the doctor who sounded concerned and told my father that he needed to return to his office for additional testing. That phone call left my family and I feeling terrified. After meeting with the doctor, my father was diagnosed with stage IV hypopharyngeal cancer with metastasis to the upper chest and liver. My heart dropped after hearing this diagnosis. I immediately felt somber because I could not believe the terrifying news. My heart sank and it felt like the world had come crashing down.

It was difficult studying for the MCAT and applying to medical school with my father’s condition looming in the back of my mind. My father’s prognosis appeared grim when the doctors told my family and I that my father’s illness was terminal. Despite his prognosis, the doctors were very supportive and reassuring that they would do everything they could to help my father fight the disease. I decided to take on the responsibility of becoming his primary caregiver. I wanted to be that person for my dad since he has always been there for me.
Overtime, my father’s physical appearance began to change and eventually he had difficulty swallowing and eating. My dad became my main priority and my goals shifted to keeping him alive. I started to feel like I was not living my life because I wanted to live only for my father. My father has always been supportive of my dreams to become a doctor and he did not want his medical condition to prevent me from applying to medical school. While at the hospital, during his chemotherapy, my dad encouraged me to work on my medical school applications. While going through the application processes I continuously thought about whether or not my father would live to see me gain admission to medical school or receive my white coat. I continued with the application process and applied to medical schools because I did not want to let my dad down. I prayed that he would see me become a doctor one day.

The morning of my MCAT exam my father was hospitalized for radiation therapy-induced aspiration pneumonia. I did not want to take my exam knowing my dad’s current state. My father tried to hide his condition because he did not want me to worry. He drove me to my exam and tried to make everything appear as normal as possible. It became such an irony that I was worried for my dad while he was worried about me and attending medical. He did not want his illness to distract me from doing well on my MCAT exam and prevent me from pursuing my dreams.

After my MCAT exam, I went across the street to the hospital where my father was admitted. I had to compose myself before I went into his room because I had just finished breaking down outside the testing site. It felt like the worst day of my life. I felt completely defeated. We thought this was the end of the road. For the next two weeks I slept by my father’s bedside as I watched him deteriorate. The doctors were debating if it was time to give him a feeding tube, which they warned would be a sign that he had a lower chance of survival. With the little strength he had left, my father fought hard during those two weeks in the hospital and eventually recovered.

I’m a big believer in silver linings. It's been about three years since my father began his cancer battle, and he is still alive. I don't know how much longer I have with him, but I'm thankful for the time that medicine has given our family. I am thankful for all of my friends and family who have helped me along the way. I don’t know what I would have done without them. As medical students with busy schedules, we sometimes forget that we all have personal lives. You never know what someone else is going through. I always say, “a lot of medical students are worried about being rain clouds on someone else’s sunny day if we go ahead and share our pain. But that is the purpose of humanity, to get through life’s ups and downs together and with each other’s support. We are and will always be more resilient together”.

What are your 5 Most Recently Played Artists on Spotify?
Rihanna, Rosalia, Major Lazer, Kendrick Lamar and Dua Lipa.

If you could have any superpower, which one would you choose?
I would like to be able to switch a flip and take someone’s pain away from someone who is suffering. I would also love to teleport. My father worked on a Greek cargo ship that allowed him to travel. Hearing about my father’s adventurous stories and all of the languages he learned to speak has made me intrigued about traveling.

Pick something or someone from NYMC to give a shout-out to!
I’d like to give a special shout out to my wonderful roomies- Madi, Dina, Rebecca, and Bipasha. Plus Keshav!

If someone wants to talk to you, they should lead with:
Anything! I appreciate any conversation. But I would love to hear about what shows they are currently watching.